"He" who finds a wife

[Tornado]

There is no space on this board specifically for single men so I will sign here. Hope it's okay.

I read on another post that men establish levels of importance for women. That's true. I read where Bro. Science said that men know right away if they want a woman. That's also true.

Before I got saved, I was a predator. I could spot a needy woman within seconds and I am not proud to say I often took advantage. There were times when I WANTED a woman to tell me no. It was hard to find a woman to tell me no. Sex on the first date was common. I always lost respect for those types of women and if they did it, I would put them on the back burner afterwards. I saw them as desperate with no self respect.

I sometimes was embarrased for the women because they seemed to have no pride. I would stand a sister up and she would make excuses for me and tell me it was okay. I would try to break off communication and the sister just would not take the hint or take no for an answer. I don't know if it was the biological clock that had them acting like that or what but I was sick of that lifestyle and the easy sex.

Now that I am saved, things are slightly better. I still see many women who are in competition over the men in the church. A big turn off for me is when a woman approaches me first. No, thanks. Let ME FIND HER! That's the scripture and I believe in it.

There is a woman in my outreach ministry that I find attractive in many ways and I am very interested in her. I took her out to dinner for the first time last Friday night and I know that this is someone I could marry. She never went after me. I went after her. I agree with Science that if you like a woman, let her know right away. It's too soon for me to look at rings. I'm gonna give a few months and see what happens. If things keep going like this, I see myself marrying her. I am ready to be married.

[OverseerCWFJ]

Bro. Tornado,

I'm sorry. When I created the various categories, I was not thinking of men because most of my supporters and visitors are women. Please feel free to sign any section of this board you desire and yes, it is appropriate for men to sign and post to this particular section even though it's titled, "Ladies in Waiting". They are waiting for the men so you are part of it.

I just read your post. A few weeks ago a woman who is now married wrote to give me an update. She had written me a couple of years ago about a man whom she had been seeing and he was putting her off. In my response to her, I told her that if a man wants a woman, he will show it by calling constantly, making dates, finding the time to be with her, changing his schedule to be with her, and he will never be late; in fact, he will be early. His #1 desire will be to be with that woman.

Long story short, she wrote me a few weeks ago to say that she had taken my advice and got rid of him. She was approached by a man who in fact went after her as I described above. The rest is history and she is a married woman today. Thanks for being honest with the ladies and for sharing your views!

[LadyJ]

Tornado said:

I sometimes was embarrased for the women because they seemed to have no pride. I would stand a sister up and she would make excuses for me and tell me it was okay. I would try to break off communication and the sister just would not take the hint or take no for an answer. I don't know if it was the biological clock that had them acting like that or what but I was sick of that lifestyle and the easy sex.

Tornado thanks for putting it out there. Why are some men so dishonest? Why not tell women from quare-1 that they are not interested? I don't like these heart breaking games.

You said that the biological clock has something to do with it. Maybe part of it but also the need to be loved. The last one I dated let me know that I needed to step back and give myself a dose of reality. He stood me up and I forgave him. He rarely kept promises and what bothered me was that he had no sense of conscience. On at least three or four occasions I slammed the phone down on him and told him to never call again. He would beg, send over flowers and so on. Then the next day or even the same day he'd hurt me all over again.

The last time he called and begged, I was clear. I said "you asked for one final chance and here it is". The next day he blew it again. This time I actually laughed because I only had myself to blame. I was relieved that he blew it so quickly.

I told him that if he ever dared call my house again, I was calling the cops and reporting him for harassment. That last time let me know that this man was crazy and that I was even crazier if I let him back again. All my feelings left after that last time. He was not worthy of me. He knew I was serious because he did not have the nerve to try to call again. I dare another man to try that on me. It's not happening again.

Thanks to Science and Tornado for being real with us sisters. Somebody needs to tell the truth. Now I have a guideline. If he goes after me and shows extreme interest, I'll give him a chance. Otherwise, I won't even waste my precious, God given time.

[Wizdom]

I'm at work right now so I cannot write much. LadyJ, your posting really touched me. I believe that most women can identify with what you wrote. I'll elaborate more on this later this evening when I'm home from work.

[Wizdom]

Hello All. This post is helping me. I met "Bob" recently. That's the name I'll use. I met him in a store at the local mall. We had a good conversation but he talked about himself a lot. He asked for my number. I gave it to him. Then he handed me his business card and asked me to call him. That was a first. Men usually won't offer their number until after they have talked with you.

A week passed and he did not call so you know what I did? I took out his business card and trashed it. No way was I calling him. If he were interested, he would have called me. If us women would do things like that more often, men would have to come up to our level to meet us where we are.

[TrueWord]

The points being made here are well taken. I believe women put up with so much because rejections stings and it is difficult to accept that someone is really rejecting you. It's like, what's wrong with him? Can't he see that I'm a wonderful person? I have learned that some people are either attracted to different qualities or physical features and some can't see the worth that you have. I try not to worry too much about it. Just yesterday I had to straighten out a man who made an inappropriate comment to me. Men will try you and it's up to the woman to accept it or set the record in order.

[FireQuencher]

Men will try you and it's up to the woman to accept it or set the record in order.

Some men do try women and some women also try men. It's a two way street. If women would stop always trying to get a brother to the altar, maybe something could grow naturally. (no all women, but most that I have run into)