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Post by Watchman On The Wall on Sept 24, 2004 11:30:32 GMT -5
Last night, a friend of mine and I were discussing the Oral Sex topic that appears on this Bulletin Board. At one point in the conversation, we began to discuss the timing of the matter: meaning at what point in the "courting" process do you begin to talk about sex? Or do you just wait until marraige, and if you wait until marraige is this really fair to your spouse, when he/she wants to do something that you don't wish to do? A prime example is the article/letter that appears on the Christian Women For Jesus website under the Matters Of The Heart section (found under the "Edification" tab). Would the problem in the letter had been prevented had they had the "sex" conversation prior to marraige? Here is the link: www.christianwomen.net/moh.htmlLet's Discuss. ( OverseerCWFJ, please forgive me if I am not suppose to mention it on the bulletin board - I will remove it if you request) |
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Post by OverseerCWFJ on Sept 24, 2004 17:22:27 GMT -5
Praise the Lord!
This forum is connected to the website so you are always free to link to the website.
I will be interested in hearing what others think about your question which is a very good question.
I would say that people should not leisurely get into sexual conversations with casual types of dates. However, if this is a relationship definitely leading to marriage, the topic of sex can be brought up (with the understanding that it's not for lascivious reasons).
If a woman knows that she does not desire to have sex (as in the situation you quoted), in fairness to the man she should let him know. Otherwise, she is engaged in fraud according to scripture. Likewise, it would be appropriate to make it clear that there are certain things you don't ever want to do, if that is a fact.
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TrueWord
New CWFJ Family Member
Posts: 23
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Post by TrueWord on Sept 25, 2004 6:29:08 GMT -5
A prime example is the article/letter that appears on the Christian Women For Jesus website under the Matters Of The Heart section (found under the "Edification" tab). Would the problem in the letter had been prevented had they had the "sex" conversation prior to marraige? Let's Discuss. I just went over and read the letter. From what I read, the woman gave the impression that she was going to have a complete marriage and decided after the marriage that she was not going to make love with her husband due to the size of his organ. No, I don't agree that in this case discussing sex prior to marriage would have helped. They probably did discuss it. |
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Post by Watchman On The Wall on Sept 28, 2004 11:50:53 GMT -5
I just went over and read the letter. From what I read, the woman gave the impression that she was going to have a complete marriage and decided after the marriage that she was not going to make love with her husband due to the size of his organ. No, I don't agree that in this case discussing sex prior to marriage would have helped. They probably did discuss it. this is a quote from the letter that was on the website: this fact alone is enough to have a "sex" converstion because this, to most, would be considered "not to be the norm" for most people. yes, she also mentioned the size of his "male member" however the problem began before the wedding night when she stated that she "had never been interested in sex" all of her life. I believe that this would have helped her fiancee' a great deal and allowed him to make the choice as to whether or not he would deal with this or allow him to back out of the marraige if he felt that he could not or did not want to deal with this. I believe that the topic of sex should be mentioned but within boundaries. Again, this is an important (but not the only) part of the marraige. My pastor tells of his testimony often so I don't mind sharing it here (in brief): He once had a bad problem with pornography (when he was in high school), it was what he and his friends would watch all the time (especially since his best friend's father sold "boot leg" copies out of his basement and therefore had easy access). His wife was raped at 15 years of age and therefore did not quite look at sex the same. Wedding night comes and you can only imagine how it was for the 2 of them. Neither one revealed the "history" until it was almost too late. Now, I know that the story on the website and my Apostle's testimony are extreme however, alot may have not happened had the converstation come up. [BTW...my pastor only mentiones this during his annual "Marraige Series" and not everyone is allowed into these sessions - especially minors] |
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LadyJ
New CWFJ Family Member
Posts: 25
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Post by LadyJ on Sept 29, 2004 19:03:19 GMT -5
I'm not sure when the right time to discuss sex may be but I know that if someone has hang ups they should reveal that. Oral sex is a controversial topic and if someone is against it or for it, that should also be discussed. If the two people are virgins, though I'm not sure how to handle that!
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Post by Watchman On The Wall on Sept 30, 2004 9:01:26 GMT -5
If the two people are virgins, though I'm not sure how to handle that! Hmmmm....very good point! And something that I did not think of. |
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Post by FireQuencher on Oct 2, 2004 19:33:31 GMT -5
Been a while since I've been here.
Topic should definitely be brought up before the wedding. Not sure when though.
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