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Post by Watchman On The Wall on Sept 20, 2004 9:16:44 GMT -5
I like the name of this particular forum, Ladies In Waiting because it sounds a bit sophisticated!
As I was browsing the board, a few thoughts came to mind:
1. What does it mean to "wait"?
2. What are you doing, while you "wait"?
Okay, I was gonna go on, but I will leave it at those 2 questions for now. I have a story that I want to share but I will hold off for now to see how this post is going to flow.
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Post by Watchman On The Wall on Sept 20, 2004 15:15:22 GMT -5
Another question:
I know of someone who believes this is her "season" for marraige. She believes that she knows who the person is that she is to marry (whether he knows the same is a different story). She has already purchased her wedding dress, as well as decorations. She has also priced different places in which she would maybe hold her wedding.
What does everyone think of this? Is this a good thing? Not so good?
Does maturity level (in Christ) play a factor? I ask becaue this is no babe in Christ but a very seasoned, mature, woman of God.
Looking forward to the discussion.
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Tornado
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Post by Tornado on Sept 20, 2004 16:00:55 GMT -5
Another question: I know of someone who believes this is her "season" for marraige. She believes that she knows who the person is that she is to marry (whether he knows the same is a different story). She has already purchased her wedding dress, as well as decorations. She has also priced different places in which she would maybe hold her wedding. There is a bishop. His name will come to me.......Carlton Pearson. Before he married, hundreds of women in his church bought wedding dresses (he said this himself) and "claimed" him for their husband. After he married, he testified that those women, in fact a thousand women left his church. Your friend needs to get herself in check. I would not want somebody like that. Spooky.
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TrueWord
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Post by TrueWord on Sept 20, 2004 17:24:20 GMT -5
Good Post, Watchman on the Wall.
What does it mean to wait?
What are you doing while waiting?
To me, to wait means to TRUST in the Lord because the Bible says "wait on the Lord". We can only wait if we trust.
Also, referring to what I am doing while waiting, there are many things:
* Attending conferences * Hanging out with friends * Keeping my MIND occupied with the things pertaining to God so that the devil does not get a foothold to minister to me! * Making a conscious effort NOT to be jealous as all my friends continue getting hitched!
* Making a true effort to attend my girlfriends showers, etc. although I had said I would not attend another shower or wedding unless it's my own.......it's a MIND thang!
* Staying in church and most of all, staying busy.
I like this post.
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LadyJ
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Post by LadyJ on Sept 20, 2004 18:26:24 GMT -5
WOTW said:
I know of someone who believes this is her "season" for marraige. She believes that she knows who the person is that she is to marry (whether he knows the same is a different story). She has already purchased her wedding dress, as well as decorations. She has also priced different places in which she would maybe hold her wedding.
What does everyone think of this? Is this a good thing? Not so good?
Does maturity level (in Christ) play a factor? I ask becaue this is no babe in Christ but a very seasoned, mature, woman of God.
I have mercy and deep compassion for a woman who would go through such motions to stand on faith for a husband. See, I don't believe that God would put a woman through that. I believe that if a man wants her, the man will find her and approach her. The man will go after her. Why would God entice a woman like that? It does not sound like God to me.
The main reason I have such mercy for her is because I believe she is setting herself up for a fall in her emotions. She has her eyes on a man but when the man chooses someone else, then what?
I cannot tell you the number of times I though a certain man was mine. I cannot tell you the number of times I wrote a man's name in my journal or diary. I cannot tell you the number of times I tried out a man's last name to see if it sounded good with my first name. I never went to the limits of your friend but I set myself up to be hurt many times. All you can do, sis is be there for her when she touches ground again.
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LadyJ
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Post by LadyJ on Sept 20, 2004 18:30:20 GMT -5
I like the name of this particular forum, Ladies In Waiting because it sounds a bit sophisticated! As I was browsing the board, a few thoughts came to mind: 1. What does it mean to "wait"? 2. What are you doing, while you "wait"? Okay, I was gonna go on, but I will leave it at those 2 questions for now. I have a story that I want to share but I will hold off for now to see how this post is going to flow. For me, waiting means accepting the fact that I might not ever marry and that in spite of that, I must go on. For me, what I do while I wait is stand on faith that I will experience the blessings of a husband, a covering and a family.
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Wizdom
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Post by Wizdom on Sept 20, 2004 19:05:25 GMT -5
This is a deep post. Much to ponder here. There are two different topics here. For now, I will skip the one about what it means to wait and go to the one about the woman who purchased a wedding dress without having a husband.
On another part of this board I noticed a post by Minister Hines, I believe. She mentioned vain imaginations. Is it possible that the woman who bought the dress and who went out pricing reception rooms is having the imaginations?
I won't judge her because I don't know her. I am surprise she is sharing this information with her friends. NOW........about 7 years ago I purchased a gorgeous white gown which still hangs in my closet. I bought it because of it's beauty and it was on sale. It was so gorgeous that I always said that I'll wear it when I marry. I stand by that. And I have my silk shoes too ;D
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Post by Watchman On The Wall on Sept 20, 2004 19:27:49 GMT -5
This is a deep post. Much to ponder here. There are two different topics here. For now, I will skip the one about what it means to wait and go to the one about the woman who purchased a wedding dress without having a husband. On another part of this board I noticed a post by Minister Hines, I believe. She mentioned vain imaginations. Is it possible that the woman who bought the dress and who went out pricing reception rooms is having the imaginations? I won't judge her because I don't know her. I am surprise she is sharing this information with her friends. NOW........about 7 years ago I purchased a gorgeous white gown which still hangs in my closet. I bought it because of it's beauty and it was on sale. It was so gorgeous that I always said that I'll wear it when I marry. I stand by that. And I have my silk shoes too ;D I ask this in love sis.... what is the difference between your white gown, and my friend's wedding dress considering you are saving it for the day you marry? Edited to add.......I never thought of it being a "vain imagination" (the part concerning my friend)...that is a really interesting (and maybe correct) way of looking at it. It really shocked me when I found out how far she had gone, but I didn't really want to comment on it until I understood where she was coming from. The only reason she shared this with me, I believe, is because I shared with her my feelings on where I felt my own relationship with "my friend" was going. Hmmmm......I still don't know. OverseerCWFJ, I would love to hear what you think about this? Is it "spooky" or is it something that can be normal?
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Wizdom
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Post by Wizdom on Sept 20, 2004 19:40:15 GMT -5
I ask this in love sis.... what is the difference between your white gown, and my friend's wedding dress considering you are saving it for the day you marry? When I bought my gown, it was solely because it caught my eye and the designer's name is Carmen Marc Valvo, who designs elegant gowns. The price was rediculously affordable because it was on sale. Marriage was not on my mind when I bought it. In fact, I was thinking about attending a church function when I purchased it but the function was cancelled and I did not want to return that lovely gown. Meanwhile, I also had some beautiful white silk shoes. Disappointed that the church function was cancelled, I tried on the gown and shoes and looked at myself in the mirror and I must say I looked great! It occurred to me that I could some day wear the gown as a wedding gown (which I could very well change my mind about). My point is that no man was on my mind when I bought the gown and I am not going around making wedding plans or pricing reception rooms. No, I am not judging your friend. She is certainly not hurting anyone in what she is doing. And you did not in any way offend me by asking the question. We are here to discuss and that is what I am enjoying doing.
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Post by Watchman On The Wall on Sept 20, 2004 19:52:33 GMT -5
When I bought my gown, it was solely because it caught my eye and the designer's name is Carmen Marc Valvo, who designs elegant gowns. The price was rediculously affordable because it was on sale. Marriage was not on my mind when I bought it. In fact, I was thinking about attending a church function when I purchased it but the function was cancelled and I did not want to return that lovely gown. Meanwhile, I also had some beautiful white silk shoes. Disappointed that the church function was cancelled, I tried on the gown and shoes and looked at myself in the mirror and I must say I looked great! It occurred to me that I could some day wear the gown as a wedding gown (which I could very well change my mind about). My point is that no man was on my mind when I bought the gown and I am not going around making wedding plans or pricing reception rooms. No, I am not judging your friend. She is certainly not hurting anyone in what she is doing. And you did not in any way offend me by asking the question. We are here to discuss and that is what I am enjoying doing. Okay, I missunderstood what you were saying ( I don't have a problem admitting my mistakes). I do feel that my friend is going above and beyond what I would consider normal, and quite frankly, healthy (emotionally). The other night, coming from an Altar Ministry meeting, she wanted to talk about weddings, and me and "my friend" but I would not allow her to take me where she is. It is important for me to stay focused on the Lord and what He has for me for "such a time as this". And that is where my question on waiting came to mind. I don't often think about marraige. Sure, I would love to be and I look forward to the day when I will be. I continue to seek the Lord and daily strive to please Him. During my devotion time, I love on Him and allow Him to manifest His love to me. As I become more intimate with Him and He changes me, I then see how I can become a helpmeet to "my Boaz". I also continue to stay busy in ministry as well as making sure that I have quality time to myself. I spoil myself at times (pedicures, new outfits etc.). I am also making sure that my finances are straight. All of these things, I feel, should take place whether you desire marraige or not. Our focus should always be on how to please the Lord and the rest will fall into place.
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Post by OverseerCWFJ on Sept 20, 2004 20:08:34 GMT -5
OverseerCWFJ, I would love to hear what you think about this? Is it "spooky" or is it something that can be normal? Praise the Lord, Saints of God! I have been watching the posts and am happy with how they are developing. The reason I post topics and rarely grant an opinion is because I don't want to appear to take sides or to give the impression that as owner of the board, my opinions somehow eclipse everyone else's. Therefore, I read the posts daily but stay on the sidelines. I'll continue to post topics but most of my personal views will appear solely in the articles I write (www.christianwomen.net). As this discussion forum continues to grow and gain its strength, I am going to move further into the background, only monitoring it for scriptural accuracy and to ensure that no one is being flamed. In other words, this board is for you, not for me. If something huge happens (such as the BEAST-666) I will let you know my opinion right away, which is Stay vigilent and don't allow anyone to inject you with anything! ---------trust that I read every post daily and will continue to do so. Regarding my views and opinions on general topics, I'd rather add "food for thought" type comments to stir the discussions. God bless
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Post by FireQuencher on Sept 21, 2004 5:46:14 GMT -5
Another question: What does everyone think of this? Is this a good thing? Not so good? I think the sister needs to do what she needs to do. If it makes her happy, go for it. She surely isn't sinning. While I'm waiting to meet the right lady, I'm hanging out with my boys, staying actively involved in church, and enjoying the company of female friends. I am not "dating" but I hang out and don't really search for a wife. It will happen when it happens and it has not happened yet.
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Post by Watchman On The Wall on Sept 21, 2004 13:55:33 GMT -5
As I was thinking on my friend and what she is doing, I realized that it really is not as bad as it may appear. I don't feel it is spooky, or unhealthy (though, I felt that way not too many days ago). I still believe that in everything, there needs to be balance, I don't see where she is taking it to a level in which she is at the "point of no return".
I believe that we may have an idea of who we may want our husband/wife to be, and as long as you are not running (as a woman) to that person saying "you are my husband", then I believe that you are fine. I also believe that as long as you remain prayerful and have God as priority then everything else will fall into place.
I know that this is totally different from what I originally expressed, but last night, right before bed, I prayed and the question I asked myself is "why can't this be a step of faith"...why must we always speak against that which we don't understand. It was then that I realized that my friend is in a place where I am not. She opened up to me about what she has done, but she has not been going around telling everyone.
Thanks for your input, as it really helped me and lead me to go to the Father and pray for my friend. I love you guys.
Be Blessed!
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LadyJ
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Post by LadyJ on Sept 21, 2004 17:59:28 GMT -5
If it helps your friend psychologically to do what she is doing, then that is her business. How old is she? Has she ever married before? Does she have children?
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TrueWord
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Post by TrueWord on Sept 21, 2004 19:55:49 GMT -5
I wonder if there are any men buying tuxedos, checking out reception sites, and buying decorations for a would-be wedding? Your friend "thinks she knows". If she is not sure by now, I am pretty certain she is wrong. I have heard this exact scenario several times in the past. I thought it was an Urban Legend.
Today it occurred to me that women do that because women more than men seem to feel how lonely and abnormal it is to be over 30 and still not married. Argue if you want to, but it is not natural to be alone after 30 years. No one to turn to when you are hurt and no one to call if your car breaks down (well, Triple-A is good) but you know what I mean.
No one who wants to hold you and love you in intimate ways. No one to to finish your sentences for you while you are talking. I have been checking out Star Jones and how happy she is. She is 41 and I believe she is so happy because she is tired of feeling empty. Yes, Jesus is enough but He did not make us to be monks. We need somebody. At least I do.
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